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| Dabarun Mallakar Miji |
Ko wace mace bukatarta ta zama tanada kima a gurin mijinta, to yaya za'ayi? shi miji anaso ya zama yana samun girmamawa da karramawa daga gurinki ke matarsa
Kamar yadda kowace mace burinta ta mallake mijinta, yadda idan tace masa eh bazai canza ba, tazama tanada 100 percent na control akanshi. Saboda haka mace taji tsoron Allah, tayi amfani da wannan damar domin ta kyautatawa mijinta. Abin takaici ne ace mace batada wani tasiri a gurin mijinta, har yaji da tana nan da bata nan duk dayane. Abin alfaharine ga kowace mace mijinta ya rinka daukar ta tamkar wata gimbiya ce ta musamman a gurinsa. Wannan abu ne da yake da kyau sosai.
Haka kuma bai kamata ba ga kowace mace tayi amfani da kaunar da mijinta ke mata ta cutar dashi, ko kuma ta cutar da abokiyar zamanta. Allah yasa mudace ameen.
Ko wace mace bukatarta ta zama tanada kima a gurin mijinta, to yaya za'ayi? ya shigo gida ya manta inda ya ajiye wayarsa sai zai fita ya tuna. Da akwai hanyoyi da addinin musulunci ya tsara wadanda idan mace tanaso ta mallaki mijinta ta kuma samu lada, to ga yadda zatayi;
Dabarun Mallakar Miji
Wadannan hanyoyin sune addinin musulunci ya yarda ayi amfani dasu. Manyan malamai sun fitar da wasu ka'idoji a karkashin wani hadisi na Manzon Allah SAW, inda yake cewa; "Allah ya halicci ran 'dan Adam yana son mai kyautata masa, kuma yana kin mai munana masa". Wanda duk zata kyautatawa mijinta to zata mallake shi. Macen da takeso ta mallake maigidanta, ga lakani za'a bata idan Allah ya yarda zatacimma nasara;
1. Girmama Maigida
Wato shi miji anaso ya zama yana samun girmamawa da karramawa daga gurinki ke matarsa. Daga lokacin da mijinki ya fahimci baki kallonsa da kima, baki ganinshi da daraja, duk yanda kikeso ki samu kansa ko kafarsa bazaki samu ba. Amma idan mijinki ya fahimci kina girmamashi kina mutuntashi kina karramashi, to ba kansa ba, harda duk kafafuwansa da hannayensa zaki hade ki mallake. Yana daga girmama miji kada ki rinki kiransa da sunansa na ainihi. Zaki iya kiransa da Baban wane ko honey, ko yallabai, ko honourable ko kuma kice babyna.
Haka kuma ta bangaren magana, kada ki bari aji sautin maganar ki sama da tashi. Kullum ya zamto sautin ki na kasa da nashi, har yazamto da ace mutum zai zo sai ya dauka maigidan shi kadaine yake magana. Haka kuma koda muryarki tana kasa da tashi, akwai muryar daya kamata mace ta suffantu da ita, wannan murya itace murya mai laushi. Ita wannan muryar haramun ne kiyi wa wani namiji in ba mijinki ba. Allah madaukakin sarki yake fadama matan Annabi Muhammad SAW: " Idan kuna magana da wanda ba mijinku ba, kada kuyi amfani da murya mai laushi".
Tausasa ko lausasa murya kan jawo idan zuciyar mai sauraro akwai cuta ta sha'awa, zai ji sha'awar yayi wani abu daku. Idan ba mijinku ba duk namijin da kuke magana dashi anaso ne ku kausasa murya, koda kuwa malaminku ne.
Yana daga girmama miji a kebance masa kwanonin cin abincinsa, da cokula da butar da yake amfani da ita. Kada abar kowane yaro yana amfani dasu. Hakanne zai sanya maigida yasan yanada muhimmanci.
2. Ku Natsu A Cikin Dakin Ku
Wato kamar a samu ruwa ne a zuba a cikin kwano, idan aka samu kamar minti biyar zakiga ruwan ya natsu. To haka yakamata mace ta natsu acikin dakinta. Anaso kizama duk inda kikaje a duniya baki samun natsuwa har sai kin dawo dakin mijinki. Idan kinje gidan kawarki kiji kamar akan kaya kike bazaki samu kwanciyar hankali da natsuwa ba har sai kin dawo dakin mijinki.
Irin wadannan matan zaka ga mazajensu na son su. Akwai matan da kafarsu har kaikai take masu saboda yawo da suke dashi, idan suna dakin mijinsu sai suji kamar tsungulinsu akeyi. Wannan ba dai dai bane kuskure ne. Kenan haramun ne mace ta fita daga gidan mijinta ba tareda wani dalili da shari'a ta amince dashi ba. Ya halatta amma da sharadi guda biyu; na farko ya zamto tayi shiga irin wanda addinin musulunci ya yarda da ita, sharadi na biyu ya zamto da izinin mijinta.
Da dama daga cikin mata basu iya neman izinin fita gun mazajensu ba, sai kaga mace labari take ba mijinta amma sai kaji tace "maigida kada in manta gobe fa zan tafi gurin biki ko suna". Wannan ba neman izini bane, kina bashi tsare-tsarenki ne na wannan ranar. Anaso miji yaji ko da minti talatin kikayi baki gida yaji ajikinsa ya shiga cikin halin ni 'yasu, to a lokacin ne kika zama mata acikin gida.
3. Ki Kasance Baki Boye Abinda Yake Zuciyarki
Duk abinda yake faruwa acikin gida wanda ya kamata ya sani ko ki tsaya ki sanar dashi. Akwai matan da suka iya nuku-nuku, 'yar ta zata iya zuwa wajen party ta kwana, amma ta boye ma maigidanta, ba zai iya sani ba. Wannan ke sanyawa zakaga a wani gidan har sai 'yar ta lalace tayi cikin shege har yakai watanni kuma uwar tasan abinda ke faruwa-ta san yadda zatayi ta boye kada ya sani.
Abinda akeso mace ta zamto a dakin mijinta ko laifi tayi idan ya shigo gida yafara jin laifin daga bakinta, maigida wani abu ya faru sai dai kayi hakuri. Misali tace maigida na manta nabar fridge dinnan a kunne an maido wuta da karfi ya kone, abun yayi mun zafi na rasa yadda zanyi amma dan Allah kayi hakuri. To duk yadda ransa yayi zafi sai yaji sassauci, saboda a bakinki yaji. Duk girman laifi da zaki yiwa maigida, indai a bakinki zai ji, kuma ya bincika yaji hakane gaskiyar, to baida zabi sai ya saki ranshi.
Rashin fadawa miji gaskiya yana jawowa miji yaki amincewa dake. Daga inda kalmar kauna da yarda tayi kaura tabar tsakanin ma'aurata to daga lokacin zaman aure zai shiga halin ni 'yasu. Shiyasa wajibine ku rinka tarbiyantar da 'ya'yanku mata, kada ku koya musu munafinci da nuku-nuku, har ta girma da hakan taje gidan miji ta shiga bala'i. Allah ya yafe mana.
4. Ki Zama Mai Gaskiya Wajen Magana
Allah SWT yana cewa acikin littafinsa al qur'ani mai girma; "Ya ku wadanda kukayi imani, kuji tsoron Allah kuma in zakuyi magana ku fadi abunda yake daidai".
Wato ku auri mace mai fadin gaskiya, wacce harshenta bai iya karya ba, duk abinda zata fada maka gaskiya ne ta fada. Idan namiji ya auri irin wannan macen to ya auri mace mai tsada, ya kuma cancanci ya shimfida tabarma a kofar gida azo anayi masa murna, saboda ya samu nasarar rayuwa. Saboda masu gaskiya acikin mata sunada karanci.
Mata da dama daga cikinku karya takoma harshen ku, zatayi wa miji karya akan 'ya'yan gidan, zatayi karya akan kishiyoyinta, zatayi wa miji karya zataje unguwa, amma idan ta tambaya banan zataje ba. Daga lokacin da ya zamana karya ta kama harshenki, to wannan matar tanada matsala kuma tanada wahalar zama. Duk mijin daya aureta ya cancanci ya shimfida tabarma a kofar gida ya zauna arinka zuwa ana masa jaje.
Daga lokacin da maigida yayi miki shedar duk abinda kika fada gaskiyane, to zaki kai wani matsayi na karshe wanda zai yarda dake. Duk wata shawara dake zai yita, duk wani abu da zaki fada sai yaga kamar wani hadisi ne ingantacce, an riga an gama. To dole ne miji zai kaunace ki, ke kuma sai ki mallake shi.
5. Karki Zama Mai Jayayya Da Miji
Kada ki zama mai yawan jayayya da miji, kada ki yarda ki zauna da miji ayita gardama. Duk lokacin da kikaga miji ya ja, kika kara gwada ja kika ji ya rike gamgam, to sakar masa kice; 'maigida kai keda gaskiya'.
Wato shi namiji yanada taurin kan tsiya, kuma da dama daga mazajen sunada son kai. Sau tari yasan shine bashida gaskiya, to amma yasan idan ya karba kamar zai fadi warwas ne, ai shine babba, sai ya tsaya ya cije. To a lokacin matsalar da ake kauce mawa sai ta afku. Amma idan kika sakar masa shi da kansa idan ya dawo ya zauna sai yayi karatun ta natsu sai ya gane abinda ya cije akatsa ba gaskiya bane. Sai kiga wata rana bazai iya tsayawa yayi dake ba. Da an fara magana sai kiga ya sakar miki. Amma daya fara magana kika rinka jayayya dashi, to kimarki da darajarki zata zube. Mafi yawan mata da mazaje ke kwashewa da mari gardama ko jayayya ke haddasa hakan.
Sannan ana samun miji wanda bai yi karatu ba, bai san cewa marin mace a fuska haramun bane. To idan kuka bincika irin wadannan mazan sune masu gardamar tsiya. Idan akayi gardama matar ta kure shi, ya rasa me zai fada sai ya daga hannu a lokacin sai dai taji saukar mari akan fuskarta. Saboda haka kada ki yarda kizama acikin mata masu tsananin jayayya da mazajensu. Wannan yana daga cikin hanyar da zai sa miji ya soki, ya girmama ki ya mutuntaki. Kuma da wuya kiji miji ya iya fadar wata mummunar kalma akanki. Amma in kin saba masa kuna gardama tun yana ganin nauyin ki ya fadi miki bakar magana, idan bai san addini ba wata rana har ashar sai yayi miki. Allah ya inganta zamantakewar aurenmu.
